Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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