They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
