I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
