first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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