Umm I'm too high to move.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
