He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
