jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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