i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
only you would photoshop your dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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