Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
