her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
