i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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