You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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