Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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