Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize