I think I died a long time ago.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
