how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
one might say we're banned from that church
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
