But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
