where am i from again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize