You smell like stripper and shame
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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