Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
