this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
