did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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