Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
