The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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