I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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