The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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