Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
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the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.