What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want her autograph on my taint
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball