his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die