Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle