I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.