11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
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look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.