ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone