Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.