I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.