I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi