I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.