problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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