Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs. http://tfl.nu/cv5b
  Replies (5) Good night (3516) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills. http://tfl.nu/4uyj
  Replies (10) Good night (3199) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house http://tfl.nu/lsbu
  Replies (17) Good night (4900) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless? http://tfl.nu/wpih
  Replies (24) Good night (1256) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars http://tfl.nu/yl19
  Replies (16) Good night (5145) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (23) Good night (6309) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1273) Bad night (2399)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning. http://tfl.nu/nqu5
  Replies (17) Good night (3512) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb
  Replies (7) Good night (2871) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn http://tfl.nu/981u
  Replies (6) Good night (2587) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck? http://tfl.nu/zk7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3651) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Again, totally unrelated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel (902): Again, totally unrelated http://tfl.nu/6fey
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you? http://tfl.nu/bmw9
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever http://tfl.nu/et05
  Replies (1) Good night (356) Bad night (747)

Randomize