Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (723) Bad night (1645)
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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1277) Bad night (1830)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??

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  (504): Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass?? http://tfl.nu/uw3d
  Replies (74) Good night (821) Bad night (3354)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.

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  (860): Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious. http://tfl.nu/hqob
  Replies (10) Good night (3782) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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  (518): you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face http://tfl.nu/32pr
  Replies (24) Good night (3531) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway

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  (603): you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway http://tfl.nu/lrgo
  Replies (6) Good night (4707) Bad night (1153)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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  (480): She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day http://tfl.nu/vsgx
  Replies (4) Good night (3655) Bad night (958)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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  (907): My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you. http://tfl.nu/6oks
  Replies (11) Good night (3406) Bad night (1012)
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  (510): View more from California

  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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  (510): you told grandpa to call you daddy http://tfl.nu/jb8d
  Replies (10) Good night (1362) Bad night (5096)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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  (678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (2191)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

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  (715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex
  Replies (19) Good night (1492) Bad night (825)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.

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  (718): Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me. http://tfl.nu/u7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (1632) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.

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  (304): Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast. http://tfl.nu/j3y3
  Replies (0) Good night (1321) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

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  (303): I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive? http://tfl.nu/iyw4
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.

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  (214): Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars. http://tfl.nu/9ba1
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (558)

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