a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
