Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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