I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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