Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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