So drunk its hurt
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize