i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
please don't ironically join a cult
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