Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
