it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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