True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
