Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
