If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
