How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
