Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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