4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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