I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
