Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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