its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
