She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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