i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
