i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
