She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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