she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
