Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All I want is dick and wine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
