So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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