I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
