i barfeds in our rink
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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