So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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