my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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