your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Someone signed my nipple.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
