Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize