I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize