I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
