If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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